So far away...doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

HOLY CRAP some oldies will never expire.

Just a face of the past,
A thought of the future,
A dream of the present,
A reality of never.

I knew that I'd have trouble
Excaping the quicksand
In my head
That is caused by you.

And all I ever wanted was out
Or you
But I can't have either.

And it's been so long
Since I've heard your voice
And almost a year
Since I was left without a choice.

And now I can honestly say,
Without hesitation
That I want out,
Without reservation.

Voluminous thoughts cloud my mind and I'm unable to break them down. I'm so impetuously competent that it makes me anxious. I have so much animosity towards imperious people. I don't want to think about it. I'm so immutable and the world is always changing. People are so vociferous, yet they really have nothing to say.

You know what I'm looking for? The antithesis of you.

I'm animus and it's killing me. I'm a social anachronism. My mind doesn't belong.

I'm just a visionary. And though it may vex my life, I know how to circumvent the blitz of thoughts that rush over my body as the minutes pass.

The world is decadent and everybody is voracious. Spiritual illiteracy is at an all time high and church is not the answer. Materialism is what we preach, it's what we teach...but all of this is impertinent to every day life because we are blind. We are impervious to the truth.

I could tell you what's wrong all day long and you'll hear, but you won't listen.

Such a diverse world and we still can't culminate in this country. America...the land of the physically free and the mentally oppressed.

Big words shouldn't scare you. But big bias' should.

How is it that I'm the only one that's scared?

From the inner depths of everything, there is you.
From the outer, that's where I start.
But everything good is from you
And I can't claim any of it.

Instead, I stamp my name on it
A common courtesy label
That really belongs to you.
It's too bad that nobody will ever know.
Nobody can ever know.

But I know
And it's the worst kind of pleasure.

On a day like today we are all suppose to give thanks. And there is so much I should be thankful for. And I am thankful. I just can't express it. So here are the things I'm NOT thankful for...

1) People in my life being addicted to drugs(and saying they'll stop, but really don't)
2) People who clean once and complain that I am the messy one
3) People trying to control MY LIFE
4) Nevada charging stupid out of state fees
5) Having to work full time next semester
6) Having no other option in this life than to live with my dad that constantly reminds me of why I'm single
7) People who think they know it all, but are so black and white that they can't really see the world
8) So called religious people that spend all their time judging
9) This resentment that I cannot get over
10) Living a pointless existance

OK, so I think I missed the point of this holiday. We stole the indians land...no, that's not it. Well, it doesn't really matter because holidays don't exist here and every day is just like the one before it.

Lastly, I am thankful for my credit card. Because now I can come home. Let's just hope I find the will power to leave when I have to.

Why is it that nothing is ever good enough? I'm tired of being controlled. You're mad because you can't control my mind...you try to control my diet...I EAT CANDY AT SCHOOL MOTHER FUCKER...hahaha. Not only does the chocolate taste good, but so does the revenge.

Today, I found out that my mom is a liar. Well, not a liar, but a non teller. Yet again, something I should have known about...I feel that maybe, just maybe I have a right to know this shit...or maybe not...but it's my blood too.

I'm tired of having to find shit out on my own. It hurts too much to know that I know nothing...how can I love someone I don't even know??

I have so many questions that you will never answer.

All I ever want out of life is TRUTH...is that too much to ask??