In case anyone is wondering, I got my tattoo. It will say 'Veni Vidi Vici' on my wrist until the day I die.
I'm so fucking angry. My dad is fucking angry at me because I told him that if he has to move for his job in December that I will not be going. And I WILL NOT BE GOING. Fuck that. I didn't move here just to move like a year later. Fuck it. I was planning on moving out next May, but if it comes 6 months earlier, so fucking be it. I don't work and put up with this bullshit for nothing. I've got a plan. I've got big plans.
On an angrier note, I fucking hate feeling this way. I can't help how I fucking feel and yet, I feel bad about feeling this way. I can't help who I like...the butterflies are involuntary. I really don't fucking understand any of this. Why the fuck can't I just be normal? I didn't ask for any of this.
I'm about to scar myself for life. This is what I'm thinking.
I REALLY wanna get a tattoo around my wrist, but I also REALLY want to have a real job one day...
I'm thinking about either "Veni Vidi Vici" or "I know not what I do"...those would be cool around the wrist...but...I'll probably decide against the wrist tattoo...
WTF? When you look me in the eyes...I don't even know what's going on. I can't even think. You ask me questions and I have no answers...at all. I can't think of them. Not even if I wanted to.
I don't know why you always look me in the eyes. You look at me like you can see into my soul. Deep, dark and mysterious. What is that?
You come near and I shake...I quiver...I get lost. And I stay lost.
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