People come to me for advise all the time and it really is quite an honor. People trusting me that much and wanting my two cents is great. I love it. And I am thankful.
But when I give advise, I never say "you should be able to..." or anything along those lines. I never make anyone feel like shit for needing my help or help at all. I never make them feel like shit because they have this problem in the first place. That is not helpful. At all.
So how is it that the one time I open up...I straight up tell two people the hardest, scariest thing I've ever told anyone...maybe it doesn't seem that serious...but I was literally shaking...I say the hardest thing...I expose myself...and I give it straight...all my fears...all that I'm feeling.
I was 100 percent honest for the first time in my life probably.
And I get "you've given up..." and "its mind over matter"...I get that bullshit?
You know, sometimes problems really are problems...and maybe thinking I have a chance would help, but some things cannot be solved internally...
And by saying that...I feel more like shit for being weak and not being able to solve things internally.
And that's really not what I need...to be disgusted with myself more than I already am.
I haven't looked myself in the eyes in over two months. Just because you have doesn't mean you know.
And already it was hard. But dealing with raw, whole chickens yesterday and having to use such force that the bones on their poor little legs chip off and they start bleeding on you...it was all very barbaric to me.
I was thinking about trying before and I've decided(well, I decided yesterday) that now is the time.
TODAY was pretty cool. 1 day down, God knows how many to come.
Many Blogstream members are there
already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant
gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"
If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
