America. The land of the free.

More like the land of the ignorant. And I no longer have any sympathy. Sure, if you were born on the streets, never had the chance to go to school and were raised in a barn...ok, I understand.

Ignorance because you're lazy...NOT...I reapeat...NOT acceptable. Sure, you can never know everything about everything...or maybe even something about everything...I understand that it's unrealistic...BUT there is no excuse for ignorance due to laziness. Or ignorance in general. HERE is why. If you don't know anything about something, you should probably keep your mouth shut...what a novel idea!! People who talk out of their asses should be shot in the ass and forced to stand until they heal. If you want to discuss something that you know nothing about...READ...LEARN...THEN SPEAK. It's really like they say, opinions are like assholes..everyone has one. I want support, some evidence, proof, etc...please give me something. Don't say to me Hilary Clinton should be President and that she should be respected JUST BECAUSE...please, please, please tell me something that's not bias...or not your bias.

Don't try and spoon feed me or anyone else your opinions...we were all born with brains...OUR VERY OWN BRAINS...how about that? Please don't add to the mental dependency of this country.

Don't let someone else make up your mind...please please please make up your own mind...keep in mind that EVERYONE has a bias...nothing in this world is unbias...BUT keep in mind that just because everything you read and hear has somewhat of a bias doesn't mean that you can't think for yourself...

FREE YOUR MIND...FREE THIS WORLD OF IGNORANCE.

thankyouverymuch.

I've noticed that the more I write, the more meaningless the words become. And when you think about it, words mean nothing. Words are just a bunch of letters that we interpret the way we want.

But damn do they feel good.

Better to suffer? You be the judge and I'll let you decide.

Who am I to say goodbye?
Who are you to say hello?
Words mean nothing.

Greetings are pointless.
Leaving takes too long.

Can we not just sit?
Let our actions do our speaking?

A bolt of lightning,
The clash of friction,
The ping of regret.
Loss of innocence is in the air.

A thick air that's hard to breathe,
I gasp for air, I grasp at life.

The storm settles,
The air spreads thin.

I can finally breathe,
The worst kind of relief.
A room has never been so empty.

10-17-05

There are so many things on my mind right now, I don't even know where to start. Well, I can't really start from the beginning, so I'll just start from somewhere in the middle...or maybe it's closer to the end.

Everything is apparent through the words of other people. It was 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I went in search of something to do. TV is no good at 3 in the morning. Cable or no cable, it's all re runs of the same shows theyve been shoving down our throats during "normal" hours of the day. So I grab a book. Any book will do. Franz Kafka...the first book I grab. What an awesome guy. The Metamorphosis...I'm sold!

I really think it would benifit our society if everyone read that story once a month. That is, without a doubt, the scariest account of real life. Now, I know he turns into a bug and that is not real, but the story, the feelings, the alienation...that is all real. We do it everyday. This is it...LIFE...at its worst. We all read this and say to ourselves "How could his family do this to him? I could never do that." But the reality is, we all do. Everyday. We say that this story is fiction...but it's really not. It's society at its worst...under the microscope of fiction. But it's real.

Now here's my point...we are living in a material world and I am a material girl. Not saying that to be funny. It's true. Even the best, most generous/modest person has material needs. We all do. We are living in a society that becomes more decadent as the minutes pass and not only do we not see it...even if we did, what can we really do? Ahaha...THIS IS WHERE WE MAKE IT COUNT.

Think to yourself..."If I die tomorrow, am I really happy with what I left behind?" Did you make a difference at all? Did you leave an impression on anyone and, if so, was it a good one?

My challenge to you: Make everyday count. Go out of your way to be nice to someone you normally wouldn't. Befriend someone you dislike for no reason and find out if you should really dislike them. Don't judge every book by its cover.

I'm not saying be Mother Theresa. But at the end of my life, when I'm standing at the pearly gates of heaven and God shows me his running total of my life...I want the good list to be 500 times longer than the bad. I want Him to smile at me and say "Welcome home."

Because, in the end, it still holds true...there really is no place like home.

Tonight while flipping through the channels, I came across Larry King live. That show does not usually interest me, but I stopped anyway because I saw an old familiar face. Roseanne freaking Barr. Then I notice none other than John Goodman sitting right next to her. Then the camera moves over...and who do I see? SARA GILBERT. Then it was official. The cast of the best show ever, ROSEANNE, had been reuntied on Larry King live. God bless that man.

I could go into why Roseanne holds such greatness, but that would take about an hour to write...to properly do it justice. But I will say this. That show was real life. A family living paycheck to paycheck in a crappy house. The characters were REAL. They were not all glamorous and even what society would have you believe is "beautiful." They looked like actually people and to me, that made them better. They dealt with real issues. They had character flaws...they were far from perfect.

Thank you Roseanne Barr for the best 9 years of television this world has seen.

Roseanne, Dan, Becky, Darlene, and D.J. Conner...best characters on tv ever.

And also thanks for the other character such as Aunt Jackie, Mark, David, Crystal, the character Martin Mull played and everyobody else I am forgetting.

That's all I can really say. Best show ever.

I am so frusterated with life right now I cannot even put it into words. I'm tired of a certain someone telling me that I need to change in order to obtain certain things. I've already lost 15 fucking pounds...get off my fucking back...I'm so tired of this shit. 3 months of change this and change that. If you say "no half and half for you" next I pick up the half and half, I'm going to wail you in the face with it.

Don't tell me the things you say don't hurt my feelings and then say that you are sensitve. First off, you don't know what hurts my feelings and you can't say something doesn't. You are the biggest ass I know...and sensitive...yeah...when I call you wierd and you seriously get mad and just scream...sensitive when it comes to your fragile ego.

Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed. Just tired of having to bite my tongue day after day to please you. Tired of supressing my anger towards you. Tired of not being able to truly be myself without your judgement.

I'm so tired.